This idea came to me a couple of weeks ago but I didn’t finish the post till now.
What’s the opposite of a bucket list? Is that a thing?
I first started feeling really sick in July of 2016. That’s when I was stuck in bed with mystery belly ache for two days. Since then I’ve been running on pride and stubbornness. Mostly stubbornness. It’s made me feel down. I’ve worked really hard at keeping my spirits up. I recently learned of this yogic concept called pratipaksa bhavana.
“When disturbed by negative thoughts, opposite [positive] ones should be thought of.”
The idea is that you replace a negative feeling with a positive ones. You can change your train of thought for example if you’re feeling hurt by someone you can spend time with someone who loves and cares for you. You can also change your location. So instead of focusing on all the things going wrong in my life wrong now I would like to focus on past accomplishments.
I’m having a colonoscopy on Friday which means a bowel prep on Thursday and my period is early. This is creating anxiety. I’m not anxious about the actual procedure. I’m having a hard time getting a ride from the hospital. I’ve asked several people and it’s starting to take a toll. I actually have insomnia tonight (Wednesday).
Times like this I start to think that this is not what my life is like and that I haven’t done what I wanted to in life. This can spiral out of control easily because I have spent a lot of time stuck in bed. To take my mind off it I’m going to make a list of things I’ve accomplished in life. I’m going to call it a brag list.
What are some of the things that you are most prod of?